UPDATE: I am about to start counselling, it’s been a long waiting list. (Updated original post, as not sure if I’d come up anonymous when replying to comments). So hopefully after a few sessions it will help me out

I’m struggling to make any decisions at the moment, and feel like my head is about the explode!

Me and my husband have been together almost 3 years.. dating a year, got engaged, planned the wedding for 13 months later but halfway through the year we got pregnant (not intended) so was 34 weeks pregnant at our wedding. All was great.

Then baby was born. I had a traumatic birth (NOT going into it) which has left me with PTSD and PND as a secondary result. As well as the natural mother worries, we have serious financial difficulties that seems to have no way out, but our relationship is crumbling.

3 months later and long story short, he sent a Dick pick to a woman which was sent to me by her! Initially denied it, but once I pulled him up on it he confessed and was really apologetic and regretted it. So I felt like my only support line kicked me while I was already down. I don’t have any close friends that I can talk to about this, and my family live 400+ miles away. I feel too embarrassed by what he’s done to speak to them as they basically paid for our wedding and I’d feel terrible, even though I know they’d know it wasn’t because of me or my fault.

It’s been difficult to actually feel like we’re married because I can’t face any intimacy due to PTSD, and he’s made it worse by doing what he did. He used to open up and talk, but now he doesn’t do that at all 😔 I just feel like there’s no effort coming from him no matter how much I try to talk to him about it and ask for him to make an effort.

However I guess my question is, has/is anyone been/in this situation, and been able to find an answer? Did you make an effort to try for your marriage because of the promise you made to one another? Or did you have more respect for yourself?

I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place and just need a magic wand.

Many thanks!