I’ve been with my husband for almost 20 years. We are extremely compatible in almost every aspect of our relationship except one: sex. He’s EXTREMELY controlling and I’ve never had a good sex life with him. Sex is ALL about him and his needs. He’s really into porn and goes through cycles of what he’s into, but he’s ALWAYS controlling about it. The very rare times it’s been good for me is when he happened to be in the mood to make me cum, and even then it had to be on his terms. I know this probably makes him sound like he’s into S&M- but it’s not really like that. He tells me to do things I’m not comfortable with and I’m NOT ALLOWED to say no. If I don’t do what he’s telling me to do without question or compromise he goes into a rage. He’s really into trying to get me to take my clothes off in public. Almost every time we are in the car together for more than 10 minutes he’ll tell me to take my shirt and bra off and just ride like that while he gropes me. He only really gets into it if I’m not comfortable doing it, though. If I’m not balling my eyes out, he’ll keep pushing until I am. I know this sounds horrible (which it is), but everything else in our relationship is great.

Last night when we were on the interstate he told me to take my shirt & panties off and show him my boobs. I did, but then I put my shirt right back on because I was so freaked out about being in an area with so many people. This time he got really silent and angry. He wouldn’t talk to me anymore- even after arriving back at home. He was so mad that he repeatedly slammed the toilet seat so hard that it broke. Today he told me that he couldn’t deal with my rejecting him anymore and wants us to separate. He still wants everything else to be the same, he’s just not going to look at me in any way sexual anymore. He said he’s not interested in looking for another partner, he’s just sick of me not fulfilling his sexual needs. I’m kind of dumbfounded. I love him in spite of our sex situation and (strangely enough) actually want to make our relationship work. Everything (house, car, our business, bank accounts) is in his name. I have a savings account, but we used almost all of it getting our business going. I only have around $400 left. I don’t have any family or friends I can go to if I DID decided to leave. If he decided to kick me out I have no clue what to do or where to go. Any advice???