My boyfriend cried when I told him I was going to buy a vibrator

I’ve never been able to orgasm during sex and sometimes through masturbation. I always thought my body was weird for not being able to but I’ve heard stories of women finally getting that climax after purchasing a vibrator or a clitoral stimulator.

After hearing these stories I made the decision to try one out, I haven’t bought one yet but I plan to sometime soon. Well, the topic came up with my boyfriend rn and when I mentioned it he stopped cuddling with me and his face fell.

I’ve brought up the idea of bringing a toy into our sex life before or just me having one for my needs and every time I bring it up I’m met with the same upset demeanor. My boyfriend is good in bed, no doubt about it but I need a push to help me get to that end goal. I’ve asked him to do things that I thought would help me too but they never go as planned and I’m left either close to finishing or never starting in the first place. That’s why I think a toy would help me out a bit more; the vibrations seem like something that can help a girl out.

He rolled over to his side and said that me getting a vibrator would make him feel bad, he even compared it to him getting a pocket pussy? Which has no correlation whatsoever. I’m getting it to help me orgasm, him masturbating is enough to get him to cum so he has no need for one of those when he has no problem getting off...unlike me.

I decided to put my foot down and told him I was going to get one (I even brought up bringing into sex if that’ll help him feel like he was in control) but he still told me that he was going to feel like shit if I got it. While I was telling him why I needed it he was covering his eyes and when things fell silent I noticed he was crying. It wasn’t full on tears but he was tearing up about the whole thing. He told me I didn’t understand and that I’m seeing it through my eyes only, that I’ll never understand.

Am I selfish? I’ve tried so many things with him but I can’t seem to get off like he does. He makes me feel weird for not being able to orgasm with just him but it’s like that for a lot of girls. I need a push and I at least want to try it with a stimulator. He won’t even try other harmless things like the oils that go hot or rings, anything that isn’t his dick is a no-no and I can’t help but think that isn’t fair.

I tell him all the time what gets me in the mood but he won’t even remember to do them half the time and when I remind him it’s only for a few seconds. Has anyone gone thru this? Did anyone fight with their SO over a vibrator? I need advice like crazy