I don’t know what I’ve done or if we are just in a rut or if he’s just bored or if this is the end. My boyfriend and I have been best friends for 15yrs, we’ve been together for 3 yrs and living together for a year and a half.

I work 5 days a week doing housekeeping, then I come home and clean, cook, take care of the cats and by 8:30 or 9, I’m going to bed. He is currently unemployed.

It’s been getting to the point that when I’m up, he’s sleeping and when I’m sleeping, he’s up playing his stupid video games. And when we are up at the same time, he has his headset on that is noise canceling so he can’t hear me talk anyways so he sits on his end of the couch playing his video game talking to everyone in his guild and I’m sitting on the other end playing on my phone or reading a book.

He’s usually still up when I leave for work 6:30am, and when I get to work (usually 7:15ish), about 45 mins later he will say he’s going for a “nap” and will sleep until I get home.

We aren’t even having sex that much anymore. It’s been just over a week. We’ve only had sex twice since my period ended and both times it was me practically begging for it and just taking control to get some. It didn’t use to be like that though. It use to be practically every other night.

The communication isn’t there anymore. We don’t do anything together. I ask if he wants to do something and he just says “like what?” I don’t know and I don’t care but honestly just anything that doesn’t involve me being either in the house or at work seeing those are the only 2 places I ever seem to be. And then when it comes to my days off, he’s sleeping through it so we don’t even do anything anyways.

For example: last night I’m sitting on the couch, playing on my phone, he’s playing on his Xbox. Earlier in the day I said I wanted to do something on my days off. He asked “like what”, I said “I don’t know, just anything.” So anyways, we are sitting there and he says tomorrow we will go out and play Pokémon Go and the library. I said ok, my hopes extremely low. I went to bed at 11pm, he stayed up. It is now pretty well 5:30am, and he is still up playing Xbox. He probably won’t be coming to bed until 6 or 7 so surprise, surprise, day 1 of being off is gonna be me sitting alone on a couch with the cats reading.

And of course this all makes me sad. And I’ve talked to him about how this all makes me feel and he just says then we will do something or that we live in a shitty town and there is nothing to do or he doesn’t have any motivation to go anywhere. But if one of his friends (who has a car, cause we don’t so we have to bus it everywhere or walk), he is ready to go and do stuff. But do I get invited along? Hardly. And when I do, it’s to a bar where I get to sit and listen to people who think they can sing and watch him get drunk and wait for him to turn into an asshole. Side note: I hate bars. They are too loud and crowded and my anxiety in them just nearly kills me. And yes, he knows this but when I say “no, I don’t wanna go. My anxiety.” He just says “well it will get you out of the house” so as soon as I put my shoes on, my anxiety starts to kick in cause I know exactly what’s in store for me.

I just don’t know what to do anymore or if it’s just me or if my weight gain is turning him off or if there is another, more new girl. Maybe he’s just bored. But I don’t feel loved anymore. I don’t feel like he cares.

Update: I’m pretty well done. I tried to be playful yesterday while he was playing Xbox and he shrugged me off. All I did was grab his pectoral muscle when one of the guild people said something about being handies. He was supposed to go for a nap for 1hr.. and that was 5hrs ago and I’ve been trying to wake his ass up every 30 mins cause apparently we were gonna go do something. HA! I even asked if he wanted to have sex. He said no, and rolled back over to sleep more. So if he wants to just treat me like a roommate then that’s exactly what I’ll be. I’m tired of putting myself out there for someone who clearly doesn’t give a flying fuck how I feel. I miss feeling appreciated and loved. Went from best friends to lovers to complete strangers.. sad..

Update 2: so we actually went out and played Pokémon Go for about 1hr. It was pretty cold. I paid for a cab there and back though. We actually ended up having sex that night too. It was like him getting away from his Xbox got him to see that he still has me. But then the next day it changed and I started bugging him for sex again. I finally got some 3 days ago.