First off, I do love and care for him and he’s a lot of things I want especially for a future. He has type 1 diabetes which can cause erectial disfunction. He can get hard but sometimes has to start up again while during sex, he also can barely cum. Because of the stopping and going it makes me not lubricated and then causes so much pain during sex. Now throughout time, I can’t even get lubricated period just knowing how bad the sex will be, which causes me more pain. I think it strains my muscles where I get too tense because I just think “it’s going to hurt” which then makes it hurt. Yes we use lube but I swear being lubricated is way better. The sad thing is I find more pleasure with my clit vibrator. Idk what to do because it’s hard to talk to him about this since it’s clearly not his fault. He also likes to have sex a lot... I guess to redeem himself. I think I just needed to vent.