I’m conflicted...no...I’m sad...no...I’m mad...I guess it’s easier to stick with conflicted.

It has been one week since I miscarried...at a Taylor Swift concert of all places. There’s nothing like going to the bathroom in a public place and realizing that you are actively experiencing a miscarriage. The lines were long and there I was begging for a tampon or pad. I went to the concert pregnant and I left...(metaphorically) empty.

So God or science? The doctors says science...sometimes the chromosomes just don’t come together. But others say God...”oh sweetheart, it just wasn’t your time...God has a plan.” Does he, or this just science? They say there is nothing that I could have done to prevent this loss...

But here I am...conflicted with God or science? Why is it some people are blessed with the joy of getting pregnant, while others struggle to get pregnant...and then they finally get pregnant after years of trying only to lose it at 11 weeks and 6 days.

Just having a day...