I was supposed to be due on 23rd of September and my sister in law 24th. I miscarried really early in pregnancy only 8 weeks and she got a baby boy yesterday. I am happy for her but I am jealous and very sad. I know they are such a selfish feelings and emotions whilst they are having the greatest time of their lives but I can’t stop those feelings. I feel horrible or writing this right now but i am too scared to tell that to my partner. Well we are quite open about things but he always says we will have one soon, but the soon has been now 3 miscarriages later and year later, so I don’t want to hear any of that. I wish I carried a healthy pregnancy and had a baby now not whenever later soon. I don’t want to hear you’ll have a baby soon enough, we will have a baby, but I think he hasn’t realised that I literally think of having a child every day. Every day for the past year. I don’t think some men understand the extent of loosing a pregnancy, because they don’t carry a child and they don’t go through those cramps and nausea and 2-3 weeks of bleeding and getting that baby out. Plus the hormonal emotional distress what comes along with it. He is very supportive but I can’t explain and haven’t been able to make him understand what’s going on inside my head and with my emotions. That’s the only thing..

I am sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings for thinking like that, I am sorry for feeling like this. I really don’t like myself at the moment because of that. Yeah...