My fiance and I have been TTC our second baby together (my third) since March. I don't know if I'm THAT out of tune with my own body that I'm not predicting my ovulation correctly or what, but I'm feeling a little defeated and frustrated.

We were hoping to have our youngest and new baby as close in age as possible with the safest pregnancy so my OB told us to wait until my youngest is 18 months old. She said 18 months is the best amount of time to have between pregnancies because if it's sooner it could cause early labor. So he is coming on 18 months now. But we have been trying for about 6 months now.

I'm just starting to feel like I don't know what I'm doing, even though both of my other pregnancies were planned I just can't seem to get it right this time.

Every month and every period that has come and gone has been heart breaking, it's impossible for me to not get my hopes up each and every time. I'm just so excited to add to our family. We have 3 boys all together and we are really hoping for a girl ( obviously knowing it could go either way) we are keeping our fingers crossed and just excited to see what the future holds.

I'm just having a hard time not feeling sad, and worried that it might not happen. I know it's only been 6 months, but to us 6 months is a long time. It's a long time when it's such a roller coaster of feelings, UP when you think YES THIS MONTH IS OUR MONTH! And then DOWN when my period comes or I take another negative pregnancy test.

The whole meaning of life is family to me and enjoying each and every day and I just want our new family member to be here with us and enjoy all our days to come.