Can't hold the tears in any longer!!!!! Long post

AF's not here but I don't think I'm pregnant yet and I cried this morning when I got another negative pt test result. I promised myself I won't cry but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I have serious baby fever right now that Its scaring me. I haven't been tying all this while and now I want to try its no happening. I lost my baby at almost six months last year February. its was so excruciating I thought I would die too from the heart break. I refused to be pregnant ever again but suddenly this month all my feelings changed and I want a baby so bad. I have a daughter now but I want another baby now I think that's what will make this pains I've suppressed so much that's resurrected again go way. need prayers, baby dusts everything. missing my baby all over again.