So I was raped a year ago. It’s affected me in many ways. Some I don’t even understand. I filed a police report about a year ago and they are just now doing something about it. This has has added lots of stress onto me and the other girl that this guy raped. However I don’t let it define me or have any type of full control over my life. Yes some days are better than others but I thought I would give some background.

So recently I’ve started dating this boy who knows about my assault and respects me. It’s been roughly 6 months we’ve been together. (mind you he’s not the first person I’ve had sex with after my assault) however he’s someone I’ve fallen for and really like and I think it’s love. It was just our second time having sex and It was amazing. Never experienced anything like that with someone and I’m pretty sure it’s because of the feelings I have for him. But we were finished I got this weird urge to bust out in tears. It was the strangest feeling because i wasn’t sad or even really thinking about my assault. Or maybe I was and wasn’t aware of it But idk I felt very lost and strange but also so in love and pleasured at the same time and I didn’t want to ruin the moment because it was nice so I just turned to my side and we cuddled. Idk if he noticed but that doesn’t really matter to me. Has anyone experienced this. Because the feeling was so strange. Was I just so emotional because of all these feelings I have towards this guy or has sex become something that has changed about me. I really am not sure and would like someone’s opinion or even similar experience about this because I am very very confused.