I have been doing alot of thinking and reading lately. Not self diagnosed or anything but I think I need to go see someone professional about the way my mind works. I think something is off. I go threw these manic stages of anger and happiness and sadness. And they are all triggered. Some are triggered by life. And others are triggered by loss or stress. I can go weeks with nothing and then something drastic changes. Like my mom dying and everything falls apart inside and out. My anxiety got so bad I couldn't go to work so I lost my job. Which now is triggering a internal panic episode where my mind is always racing about money and bills and how things are gonna get done and how disappointed I am in my self for letting it effect me this way. I'm just not okay anymore. And I seriously think I may need a mood stabilizer or some kind of antidepressant or anxiety meds. I'm also a recovering addict... Well just recently relapsed so there's that shame and disappointment in myself. On top of all the other factors it just feels impossible to get ahold of myself again. I have never been this weak minded in my life. To let something take over my life. Yet here I am legs burning mind racing and trying to think of a way to get my next fix... And I'm so pissed off at my self for it and the anger turns into this manic phase where I'm mad at everyone and everything. The sound of the clock on the wall pisses me off. I'm just so lost at this point. And I really feel like there's nothing out there that can help me at this point