So according to all 3 of my apps, af is due today....and my boobs hurt but other then that I just feel sick(upper respiratory crap)...no cramps nada....I normally am spotting by now...but I'm terrified to test.

We are 3 yes into this ttc gig and 2 years ago I had a miscarriage right after our anniversary which is next week...

So I'm sitting here half excited half terrified...I want a baby more then anything and here I am half panicked that I will be but knowing I'll be devastated that I'm not...

Do you guys ever get like this where you want to know but scared you'll jinx it if you test...and if I am I'm not gonna relax until I'm at least 13 weeks this time...