Hi everyone..this post is not meant for sympathy... I just wanted to share my thoughts on the subject of miscarriage... The term every mother dreads to hear...I was a first time mom until today... I lost my baby at 6 weeks..my angel baby was planned and already so loved.. I'm overall a healthy person.. i have no illnesses..i dont smoke or drink.. i also live a very active lifestyle when it comes to exercise..but this drastically changed when I started to fall ill..i was rushed to the Emergency Room because of cramping and bleeding..i was told that I needed to be put on bed rest..at first I was being selfish and I thought about my body drastically changing and how I couldn't exercise the same way anymore. Crazy right? Well with some rest and my mind more at ease..i understood it's not about me anymore.. our bodies are made to be a home and our bodies can do extraordinary things..gaining weight happens and it doesn't make YOU any less beautiful.. we all come in different shapes and sizes..weight can be lost but the loss of a baby is something that will never be forgotten. As a couple days passed by I experienced heavy blood loss with massive clots the size of golf balls..i immediately rushed back to the E.R. and my heart knew this was it.. and sure enough there was no more baby..the thought of my baby being flushed accidently down the toilet drain just made me swarm in tears.. I was so upset and angry at the same time.. I thought I did something wrong..i asked god why me and what did I do to deserve this..to me it was such a cruel joke.. then my anger came in and I thought about all the mothers that abuse themselves and have crack addicted babies..they suffer in the womb and outside the womb..i thought of the parents who have kids and abuse their child/children..basically all the people that don't deserve children..i thought of the women that had several miscarriages and still no hope..i thought of the women that can't have kids because their bodies are not equipt to have children. So many things came across my mind..so many things i just don't understand..... although I'm taking it pretty hard right now and if you're reading this and experienced loss..im truly sorry..the emotional physical and mental side takes a toll on us.. its not your fault..its okay to feel a certain way..know that you are loved and it's okay to take time off of social media..from work..or etc.. this is your time to heal..relax and talk to your boyfriend spouse or whatever because they are in distress too..they also lost a loved one .. take however long you need just don't give up on yourself..try to stay strong..and you'll get through this..