Strained Relationship over Weed
My father grows and smokes marijuana at their home. I live in a state in which this is legal, but I don’t personally like the practice and the same marijuana use (before it was legal) caused a rift in my family between my parents that took many years to heal. I also can’t stand the smell and it brings up many unpleasant memories.
I am now six months pregnant and my husband and I are now worried about my father’s weed usage and having our daughter over at their house. My mother doesn’t smoke and we trust her, but I am worried about the impact of my father’s marijuana presence in the house.
I don’t want to control my father by telling him that he needs to get rid of all the marijuana, but I don’t want to have it around me or my child.
I am very worried that bringing up my hesitations with my dad will cause him to fly off the handle and sever the relationship, as he has had many angry episodes in the past. How do I address my discomfort with my father’s marijuana usage and our unwillingness to let our daughter be around that without sacrificing my relationship with my father and my daughter’s future relationship with her grandfather?
TLDR: Okay, for those who don’t seem to get it: my father’s previous weed usage tore my family apart and ruined my childhood. Just the smell makes me sick to my stomach and I can’t stand being around it, which means I can’t even be at their house anymore. This is my parents’ only grandchild and they are thrilled and ready for their new role. However, I don’t want my child around that. I don’t want to be around that. But I don’t want my mother to suffer as an innocent bystander to an ultimatum that my daughter can’t even be at their house. My question (for all of those who forgot) is how to handle the conversation with my dad to address this tricky subject.