I guess to be a good student...

I guess to be a good student it means no social life. It means quitting your job. It means quitting your team. It means going to bed at 12 and wake up at 6 to start your HW for the rest of the week and review your notes It’s skipping meals and beating yourself up when you do things that aren’t your homework, like self care. It’s getting so anxious you are forgetting something and you freak out and cry. It’s feeling like stacks and stacks are being put on you, weighing you down.

Because getting for grades is all it matters. Right? That’s why we can’t get lower than an 84 in class (in my major). Because getting good grades is most important.

But yet I’m considered annoying by classmates when I get really anxious, but I can’t help it. I can’t help I’m scared of failure. I was raised that it was bad. They don’t know I was recently hospitalized due to mental health issues and self harm. But yet they laugh. Tell me I’m annoying to my face. Because I try to fit in to how society wants us to - for us to be good students.

But I guess to be a good Student, you don’t come first.