Dark secret


Let me just start out by saying that I am a happy mother of one and a wife to a wonderful husband. We are actually trying for another child. Life is pretty good. Except I have a deep secret I have not told anyone. Not even my husband. I was sexually touched by one of my babysitters when I was 5 or 6 years old. I didnt understand it at the time. I just knew she was kissing me and putting her hands down my pants. She told me to "shh" and to "not tell anyone" what happened. My sister and her sister were the good guys coming to rescue me and she was the bad guy. She would always listen for if they would come to rescue me and immediately stop everything she was doing. Now this isnt the first time something like this has happened to me, I was rapped at the age 13 or 14 by my "boyfriend" who I told I wanted to wait for marriage to have sex, and when things got alittle heated up I told him not to put it in and no. He went ahead and did it anyways. I have told my husband and even my mom about that, but never that I was inappropriately touched as a kid. It has been a heavy burden. I have tried telling my husband a few times but It is just a really had thing for me to talk about or even acknowledge.