Okay so I cheated on my SO not last December but the one before that & he didn’t find out until that February, well I confessed and we broke up and stuff & I completely understood because I fucked up. And yes you can cheat and it be a mistake as long as you don’t do it again. I learned my lesson. Trust me, and I feel awful as I should. But he came back (his choice) and decided to try again as long as I deleted social media for as long as he said and I didn’t talk to any guys. So I did everything he said, well that March we found out we were expecting & he knew he didn’t have to stay but could still be part of the childs life. Well we stayed together and we’ve been doing great, the pregnancy was great and he was always there for all my needs ect & now our daughter almost 10 months old we got into a talk and he asked me why I never tell him what’s wrong & I said I can’t ever bring stuff up or have arguments without him throwing my past in my face even tho I haven’t done anything to make him question me & ive showed I’ve changed he even said so. & he told me he wouldn’t do it because he said it’s good for us to fight/ let stuff out & when he tries I just cry so he Promised, obviously unless I falsely accused him of cheating or something & recently he’s been like lusting other woman , pictures ect & my body isn’t what it was so it hurts, because I don’t feel as desired or sexy or whatever. & I told him Porn doesn’t really bother me, just looking up local girls does/saving their pics , well he keeps looking up hooters girls and he follows them / adds them & this morning I asked why he follows girls like that . Just a simple question.. didn’t yell, argue or anything. & he threw my past in my face and snapped at me & I was like see this is exactly why I can’t tell you anything & now he isn’t talking to me& I just feel so depressed. Like if you’re not gonna allow someone to change. You should have left before you got me knocked up. Or shit leave now if you don’t love me just stop saying I’m enough but not showing it& making me feel worthless pos. I don’t know what I’m looking for maybe a friend , or advice or something.. all I ever wanted was a happy family.. & now all I feel is alone