Husbands Fault 😭

Just needed to vent and seek some validation that I'm not the only one. My husband and I have been trying for about 1 year and a half. With NO luck. The only other baby I ever had was from my ex. So I know I can have kids, with little to no issues. But my current beau is just frustrating me. He dosent ejaculate during sex, well at least not from being inside of me. He can easily ejaculate with every other method (hand jobs, blow jobs, etc) We have tried almost everything:

Turkey Baster Method

Extra/Creative Foreplay

Etc.

With no luck. I dont know what to do. Ive tried lubricant (warm), I've tried everything and I'm at my wits end. I want babies, I want a baby. Before it was I want his baby but now I'm feeling so frustrated, I don't care whose damn baby it is anymore. We have been dating for several years, then married for longer by the way, so this isn't some 16 year old girl rant. I'm just so ashamed to be complaining about my husband and feel so ungrateful that I dont want to put my identity out there.

Am I the only one, doomed to deal with this and cry myself to sleep half of the week. I'm so disappointed and so ashamed.