I was sent a sign (trigger warnings)

Now I personally don’t believe in god much. Well I’m not really sure what I believe in. But I’ve been dealt some shitty cards in life. From rape and molestation between the ages of 3-7 from my bio father, to beatings, mental and sexual abuse from my first boyfriend at 17. To being choked by a guy I wouldn’t sleep with at the movie theater at the age of 19. I’ve lost all my grandparents in the same year as well as two miscarriages. I am 22 and have been so depressed for as long as I can remember. I’ve never been happy.

Today I hit the breaking point. I was on my way to drop my son off with my mom (his dad is picking him up tonight) when I made the decision to end it all when I got home alone. I’ve been so far gone for so long I didn’t want my baby to know me like that. I picked up formula and was on my way to drop him off when I was backing out and hit a car. Now it was completely my fault I wasn’t paying enough attention and didn’t hear her horn. Just slight dent to my bumper her pickup was fine. I felt awful and profusely apologized when she looked at me and said it’s okay. And then she said to me that for some reason she wanted to hug me and tell me that no matter how hard the days ahead might be something good is coming my way.

I broke down. I sat in the parking lot crying hysterically because I was so ready to die.

This is stupid and I’m not sure I believe in much but I believe that I needed that hug. I needed that push to go on atleast one more day.