Stay at home moms

So I’ve never been unemployed since 9 days after I turned 16. Ive always had a good job and made good money and at one point I was even working 3 jobs which meant I worked 7 days a week and was going to college full time. Anyways.. my husband worked at a place for 2.5 years where he only worked 3 days a week from 3pm-3am. Good job, decent money.

He finally went to school and finished his schooling and got a better job where he makes quite a bit more money in March. Then in April I got pregnant (after almost 4 years TTC). With him working that and me working my full time salary job we were able to pay off some debt. Like my car, a credit card, etc. We had been talking about me quitting my job so I could go back to school and work a part time doing something but then we were finally pregnant and I didn’t want to switch jobs in the middle of pregnancy or try going back to school. So I still planned to just quit my job because I was working 60+ hours a week and I’m high risk.

So I put my notice in at 9 weeks. My last day of employment was 16 weeks. Now I’m almost 26 weeks and I basically just feel guilty like I’m not doing enough. We are not struggling financially but since I’m not working I feel guilt with him working as much as he does. He does not have to work as many hours as he does but they’re super short handed and it’s getting ridiculous. He’s worked 200 hours in the last two weeks and hasn’t had a day off in two weeks.

Anyways.. he doesn’t have to worry about anything. I make sure all the bills are paid, do all the grocery shopping, clean the house, pick up his clothes that he takes off in the middle of the living room, all the laundry, mow the yard, cook all the food. I ask him what he wants, he tells me and I make it. Even being pregnant I don’t pick what we eat. I might make a suggestion but if I want something, I can always make it for myself while he’s at work. I have put the baby’s room together except the crib (he and his friend did it). If he needs something, I take care of it. The most I ask him to do is clean the litter box, move the trash to the road for trash day, and lift heavy stuff that I can’t.

But I still feel guilty. Like he’s living at work basically.. I just feel bad. But I’ve made it a point to tell him he doesn’t have to work this much and if he wants to find a new job then he should.

How do stay at home moms do it without feeling bad about it? Maybe it’ll be different when baby is here but I’m not sure.. I know that we wouldn’t put her in daycare at least for the first year because I’d basically be working to pay for it. But I can’t imagine always feeling like this.