HELP.. feel like I’m that one..

mady

The one that’s left out. The burden. The one that no one wants. My friends all have parties and I’m not invited. They go places and I’m not invited. I’m like second though. “Oh, should we bring her?” Or anything like that. They don’t want to deal with my problems. They tried to stick me in the hospital so they didn’t have to deal with me. (Literally, called the cops on me for a mental health evaluation and I was taken to the hospital. They were mad I wasn’t there for a few days).

I literally can feel myself breaking. Like my chest physically and emotionally aches. I have no way to cope except cutting (which we are trying to stop) or smoking cigs (and I lost my lighter). I just feel like everything is building up inside and I’m going to explode. I talk to a lady that works here at school and she said to calll her if I am not feeling okay and I’m not sure if I should call her but I don’t want to go back to the hospital.

I just feel like I’m going to lose it. But I Also feel like I’m making a big deal and shouldn’t feel this way but that I do because I’m in my period?

(They think I have depression and anxiety but unconfirmed- was good I had a major depressive episode at the hospital but did not diagnose with disorder)

Just need to get it out there... advice?