My friend and I have lived together for the last 2 years. She’s great and we work well together as roommates. This year we moved into a new place (we wanted to get out of our basement suite). It’s more expensive so we had to get a third roommate.

For the first little while things were fine. A few little bumps as we adjusted to living together but that was expected. In the last couple weeks (we’ve been living together for 3 months now) things have gotten really difficult. First she decided she didn’t like how I study in the living room all the time (my friend and I are in a professional program that requires us to study a lot, our roommate is not and likes to just hang out, have friends over, etc because she has the time for that) where our kitchen/dining room table is. I do not have a desk because my room doesn’t fit one (I have the smallest room but the best windows which I like for my cat). So I don’t really have anywhere else to study. We worked something out.

Then she started talking to her boyfriend every single night at 10:30pm-11:30/12:00. They have a difficult time difference which I completely understand as my boyfriend and I also have that issue. But she has a loud voice and I can hear her conversations. I asked her if she could turn the volume down or wear headphones or maybe even put a blanket down at her door so the sound wouldn’t carry. These are all things my friend and I do so that we don’t interfere with other people’s sleep in the house. She got really upset and kept saying ‘you can’t tell me I can’t talk to my boyfriend. Just deal with it’ (never asked her to stop talking to him just asked that she was quieter)

My boyfriend and I have a standing weekly Skype date where we cook dinner together. We usually take over the kitchen from 3-5pm (to avoid dinner time for other other girls I live with) and this isn’t a new thing and she knew about it before she moved in. During that time I get the kitchen for our date night. Well my new roommate now has decided to cook at the same time every time. I asked her to stop (Im not saying running through to get a snack or make tea or something isn’t ok, just that she doesn’t cook while I do). We have a tiny kitchen so I end up cooking around her and it makes things really hard. She’s angry and keeps saying I’m being unfair and hogging the kitchen. My friend and I never cook or use the kitchen while someone else is so that there’s enough space. So it’s not like she never gets the kitchen.

And lastly, she leaves her crap everywhere. She’s got a whole counter space in the kitchen covered in food, tuberware, etc. And we only have 2 small counters. I asked if she needed more cupboard space (there’s still 2 empty ones) but nope she just likes her stuff everywhere. It makes using the kitchen very difficult since our other counter space has appliances on it too. She says I’m being too picky and need to deal with the mess. And the living space is littered with her things. My friend and I never do this at all. It’s all her stuff- on the coffee table, the floor, the mantle place, etc.

She’s bitching about how I’m not being welcoming. But I’ve tried. I’ve really tried. But I cannot handle this. I just want to leave at this point. My friend is trying to be a mediator and it’s not helping. I know she’s irritated by these things too but refuses to say anything because she doesn’t want to be mean. I like my friend but our friendship likely won’t last this. But I feel bad just leaving and leaving them with extra rent (I don’t have a lease as it’s a family members place so I can leave without anything happening to me). So am I being unreasonable? I don’t think asking her to be quiet when others are trying to sleep, give me two hours in the kitchen (not even at meal times) and tidying up her stuff is too much to ask especially when my friend and I do these things to be respectful to everyone in the house.