Just needing to vent as I’ve found myself in a less then ideal position in life. Most of which I’ve allowed to end me right where I. Stand today. What makes it so overwhelming and just Chaos. It’s been 3 years of a bad relationship getting slowly better then going worse then where I started it from. Trusting in that person to help me work threw the healing and learning process of the damages done from my past and current relationships and childhood and family. Not In a million years would I have dreamt my life would end up in a drama triangle I can’t seem to escape. I find myself today without my family or without genuine friends minus my dog of course! But the scariest part of all of this is the uncertainty of the roof over my head uncertainty I’ll loose everyone and everything all at the same time while facing being homeless at 26 and alone in a dangerous city at that where I know no one who I can confide or find safety in. I find myself becoming more stressed out and overwhelmed by not knowing to lie to myself to feel better in the moment to pull threw just one more it’s not me it’s you conversation, how can you take what I say so negatively all the time conversation, why are you crying I’m not meaning it to be mean but you just can’t handle anything that’s why I am the way I am to you conversation or just break down and wave my white flag and give up. Every morning I wake up with a roof over my head and someone next to me is a blessing but it also brings overwhelming anxiety and sorrow. One day I’ll find my inner happiness and feel it down to my soul and live the life I’ve always wanted too without the weight of the world on me.