Is it Rape?

Question

Here I am, sitting down thinking about something that happened to me almost two years ago. I was with someone and I can remember an instance where before I went to his place I told him I didn’t want sex. When I got there, he’d either touch and fondle and kiss me or he kept asking for it, and I turned him down until I eventually. Sometimes I gave my safe word (it was a BDSM relationship) and I would honestly change my mind, but there were times I got pressured to have sex. I remember another time where I got in trouble with him and he punished me (again, BDSM). I cried and cried and whimpered. Part of the punishment was him having sex with me and that I couldn’t orgasm. I didn’t want to, but I did it because I wasn’t tryna get my ass beat again. During the sex, the condom popped. Afraid of getting pregnant, I backed up from him and he was like “you running from me?” I said no and he pulled me back to him, put on another condom, continued fucking me. 
With that being said, is it rape? Or am I just to blame for entering a potentially abusive at 18 with a 27 year old man?

Accepted Answer

BDSM relationships are more complicated. I'm having a hard time following exactly what your saying.
If you used your safeword and he kept going, that's rape.
If you said no, that's rape.
If you changed your mind and made him aware, that's rape.

Answer

Saying no and then yes after being pressured is not consent.
At the very minimum it’s sexual assault.

Answer

“Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority, or against a person who is incapable of giving valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, has an intellectual disability or is below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.”
When he coerced you into saying yes, that is NOT consent. Period. End of story. It is sexual assault. It is rape.

Answer

Yes it was rape. You used your safe word and he didn't stop. He forced you into a situation you didn't want to be in. 
On top of it being rape, he is clearly an abusive Dom.
For those of you who may not understand, the three main things of BDSM are: Safe, Sane, Consensual. Once you safe word, all things including punishment must stop, that is why you have a safe word. 
So for those of you who are blaming her- her Dom raped and abused her. He didn't respect the fact she used her safe word. She is no way at fault. If you still fail to understand go back and read the three main points of BDSM again.

Answer

In a healthy BDSM relationship, you can say no whenever you want. You shouldn't actually be afraid of the other person. If they make you genuinely afraid, that's abuse, not BDSM.

Answer

I don’t follow because i am very much unaware of how BDSM relationships work and from the limited knowledge i have, beforehand you should have set up rules and limits. If you don’t, then you don’t know far he would go and same goes for him. Sadly as someone mentioned peer pressure or just pressuring someone to have intercourses does not classify as rape. However if there was a time when you said no and openly protested but yet he continued i would say this is rape. However overall this situation falls into very gray area for me, i don’t know you or him, so i can’t blindly label someone as a rapist just off a post. If this bothers you, maybe seek professional help which could help you.

Is it Rape?

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