Gender disappointment?

I went to my scan and the doc tried to see the sex but the baby was sitting on the umbilical cord- I legit saw nothing. It worried me because then I was like "oh God its s girl because i cant see anything" I'm always dreaming it's a boy, I have a feeling, but ugh I really dont want a girl, maybe I'll feel different if it's a girl and shes born but OMG I feel like crap saying this 😭😭😭😭 can anyone else relate ?