Ladies I need help. My mother in law is a complete nightmare after her son and I had our first child (and her first grandchild).

Our daughter was born a year ago. The day I had her was when my mother in law began acting ridiculous. After I gave birth she would not leave me alone so that I could sleep. She kept me up all night saying that as a new mom I will need to get used to late nights and she said she was doing me a favor. I was exhausted and my husband didn’t even tell her to go. I had a c-section and she had the nerve to tell me that I had the easy route because I didn’t give birth like a “normal woman.” She also told my mom that she was selfishly hogging up the baby (she only got to hold her for 5 minutes. Meanwhile my MIL had been holding her all night).

I tried to shrug it off for my husband’s sake as excitement of having a new family member. However things got even worse once we went home from the hospital. I decided to take a year off of teaching (I’m an elementary school teacher) to take care of our daughter. The DAY I got home my MIL told me that she doesn’t want me using her son’s kindness by making him be the only provider. It was actually my husband’s idea for me to stay home and her comment really hurt me.

When my husband went back to work she decided to stay over all day every day for 4 months. She criticized me for every move I made and followed me around my home. She told me the clothes I bought her were ugly. She told me that I wasn’t doing anything right. She made messes and didn’t clean them up and made me clean it and cook for her less than a week after I got home from the hospital.

About 2 months in I decided to bottle feed my daughter. She told me I was a bad mom and that I WILL be breastfeeding. I told her I would not be breastfeeding anymore and she went on a rant on Facebook, telling everyone that I don’t care about the health of my child and that a real mom would continue to breastfeed.

On my daughter’s first birthday party, my daughter did not want to eat the cake we bought. I would never force my child to eat anything. My MIL practically shoved cake in her mouth so she could get pictures. My daughter started crying and I told her to never do that again to which she responded that it’s HER granddaughter and she will do whatever she wants. She also invited her drug addicted boyfriend that she had only been dating for a week to the party even though I explicitly stated I did not want him around my daughter.

My husband and I have not had a break since our daughter was born. We decided to take a mini weekend vacation together to the Smoky Mountains before I went back to work. My mom had been wanting to babysit anyway so we thought it would be the perfect opportunity. My MIL called me selfish for wanting a vacation (we were only going to be gone for 4 days) and told me that she will call children services on me if we go. We ended up not going, I cancelled the entire trip and our hotel because I was afraid she was serious.

I tried to tell my husband all of this but he said his mom just cares for our daughter. It’s upsetting to me that she is undermining and disrespecting my parenting. What should I do, and am I right to be upset?