Am I the only one?
I don't know if I'm being ridiculous or not. If I am I won't take offense in you saying so, here goes.
My partner and I have been together nearly a year. He's brilliant. He's funny, kind, caring, hard working( bit stubborn but what's new). There is a 5 year age gap. Hes the young one. Wasn't actually expecting a relationship as I was just out of a bad toxic one,so I was single for a few months.
So anyway. I had CIN2 cells back in October last year, got treatment for it.
Went back 6 months later praying everything fine. Everything was going good with my other half. Our sex life was great, which lifted my spirits as I felt horrible and disgusting after my first treatment. I started eating healthy, going to the gym. Lost 4 stone. Was really really happy.
Got my smear check up 6 months later. Came back CIN2 and high-risk HPV. My heart broke. He was still brilliant with me, I closed myself off and pretended I was fine. I got treatment so im praying it works this time. Our sex life has kind of went off since though, it's making me feel disgusting and horrible again.
I've tried to start it, but it only goes to foreplay, but only for him. Nothing for me. When I try to take things further he says no and finishes himself (TMI sorry) and I just lie there and think what's wrong with me, I tried talking to him about it and he said he's just not interested in having sex. I feel stupid for letting it get to me so much and I don't want to leave him either.
Ladies is this all in my head or do I have a right to feel upset?
How do I bring it up again without sounding so selfish?
I've never had thus problem with any of my past relationships.