Wife before mother ?

Question

I’ve heard this saying 
“ you are a wife before you are a mother because without your husband you wouldn’t be a mother “ 
From my point of view the kids come before husband .... what are your thoughts ?

Accepted Answer

My priority sits with my husband. I don’t love him more than my kids or my kids more than him. They are different lives. But the relationship with my husband is the priority. Because not only do our kids need us to be strong now for them but one day they will grow and move out and we need to be strong with each other so we aren’t married to a stranger when that time comes. 
I’m a sahm and devoted to my children. But my relationship with my husband is a massive priority in my life.

Answer

My thoughts are that this topic is stupid and always ends in an argument. How I chose to love isn't up for debate or discussion Anon

Answer

Whyyyy are we always ranking the people we love

Answer

I don't think it's appropriate to rank my loved ones or put them on some fucked up scale of importance. They are all important to me in their own special way and I love them all the same, in different ways. I am not a wife before a mother or a mother before a wife. I am a wife AND a mother at the same time.

Answer

Husband and wife should come first for each other; then the kids. If you two are 100/100 with each other, the kids will be great.

Answer

I’d still be a mother with or without my husband lmao. My son comes first.

Answer

I needed my husband to become a mother but I would still be a mother without him so that’s just dumb. 
In my house, we don’t put anyone above anyone else. We give the most attention where that attention is needed. I don’t see why people love putting their loved ones in order of importance.

Answer

I believe kids hold the highest of importance.  But Ive seen what happens when kids come first. Husband and wife fight. The kids suffer. Divorces happen. Spouses feel unloved. I believe in putting my husband first, because I know he would never put me in the position that it would be bad for our kids. It means we can have an amazing relationship which in turn means an amazing family.

Answer

I love both my child and husband. They are different loves. Both won’t end. But my husband is my partner in everything. 18+ years from now my son will he grown and leaving us behind. He’ll get married and have his own kids. My husband will be there after our son is grown. I want to give my son a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like. That means our son isn’t the center of our universe. He isn’t the most important family member. In a way, my husband is my long term priority.

Answer

My love for my husband is different then my love for my children. I had a child going into my relationship with him and I flat out told him that she will always come first! We have children together and we both agree that we love our children before each other. My mother always put her men before us and I hated that. His father put his wife before him and his other child and he hated it. So we both agree that our children will always come first and we love them more than each other. 
I look at it this way. If your husband were to do something horrible to your child, like sexually abuse, which happens way too much or physically abuse the child... would you defend them or protect your child? Of course there are people that would still stand my their husband but there's no way in hell I would be that person. My children are the most important thing in my world and that will never change!

Wife before mother ?

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