Bitter bitch

So back in March I found out a coworker was pregnant after coming off birth control for a month. I was obviously jealous since I had been trying for well over a year. I put my fake smile on and congratulated her for getting pregnant so quickly. A week later I found out I was pregnant. I was besides myself! My husband and I already loved this little bean so much. Another week passes and another coworker, that I’m fairly close to, finds out she’s pregnant. So now ya 3 are the 3 pregnant musketeers and we’re ecstatic to go through this together. April 23rd I miscarried by baby at just 7 weeks. My husband and I were devastated. I had been recovering pretty well until one day I realized that they were a few weeks away from meeting their babies, while I was still mourning the loss of mine. I’m very happy for them, I just can’t help but ask myself why they get to have wonderful and healthy pregnancies, and I don’t. A piece of me hates them for inviting me to their baby showers and including me in things that I should’ve been planning for myself. I hate that they get to look at their ultrasounds over and over again, while all I have as a memory is a lousy “yes+.” I’m a sad, jealous, bitter, bitch.