He punches holes in the walls?

Question

I've been with a guy for going on three years. I've been around this kind of stuff my whole life so please don't judge me, my parents acted like this so I just felt like it's normal but my friends tell me it's not. Whenever my boyfriend is upset with me he screams at me and punches through our walls and there's so many I've learned how to patch them up like a pro  On Saturday he punched a hole through one of our doors, screamed in my face in front of our 1 year old and then left. Then he got back and started talking about remodeling like nothing happened?? Should I be leaving? He says he cannot learn how to deal with his anger, he "just can't"

Accepted Answer

you should absolutely seriously leave. the wall could soon be you.

Answer

If he "just can't" deal with his anger the you "just can't" stay in this terrible environment.

Answer

Yes, you should leave. 
Do you think that seeing uncontrolled anger issues is healthy for your child? It’s not. Do you think seeing an unhealthy relationship with screaming is healthy? It’s not. Do you think having that as an example is healthy? It’s not. 
It’s. NOT. Normal. He’s making excuses because he doesn’t WANT to change and better himself. And your child deserves better. As a parent, you’re supposed to want to do better for your child than what you were given by your parents, right? So start with providing your son with a safe, healthy environment. Because right now, you aren’t doing that 
Put your son first. Leave.

Answer

My SO grew up pretty bad and has bad anger problems because of that but he would NEVER act like that towards me or infront of our kids. He wants to break that cycle and he has gotten so much better. Hes Not perfect but i can tell you it is not normal and there is no excuse to act like that to you or infront of a child. He CAN seek help, he CAN work on it himself, he CAN do much there is no excuse! Its not normal and a child should not be around that. If he wont do something about it then YOU have to do something to protect yourself and your child. That is not an enviorment for a child to grow up in.

Answer

My son is also a year old and I do my best to keep people from screaming or acting like that around my child because it could esculate and become a dangerous situation for the Baby. It can also have negative effects for Baby if they see that throughout their lives and Now as they grow. Babies are really smart and learn quickly. I would be worried about what would happen if he got angry at your kid and acted like that towards them or if he gets so mad that he hits you one day in front of your child. It sounds like a dangerous thing for your Baby to be around

Answer

You likely chose this type of relationship because you grew up with it and it was your normal (like you mentioned).  If you expose your child to this, your child is likely to grow up and repeat the same patterns by getting in the same type of relationship. It’s called generational patterns. 
It is not normal and it is not safe for you or your child. If he can’t control his anger, what’s to stop him from hitting you, or hitting your child when the kid throws a fit? His excuse that he can’t help his anger is garbage. He could seek help. 
You need to get out. Protect your kid (from danger now and from growing up to repeat the same pattern).

Answer

One day that wall or door can become you or your child. Either make him get anger management courses or leave orrrrr leave and tell him you won't come back unless he fixes his anger issues.

Answer

You have a one year old.... stop thinking about yourself & put your baby first 
This is not the type of lifestyle you want for you child to grow up in 
You have the choice to break this abusive cycle 
It’ll only get worse you have to leave

Answer

I agree with what everyone is saying; you need to leave. Now. 
Everyone is right. Next it could be you or your baby. Just because you say it won't. It will happen eventually. And it will get worse. Trust me. 
You don't deserve this. Your baby doesn't. Your future doesn't. 
You need to get out now. Take that baby and go anywhere. If you can leave tonight, do it. Take essentials. Go to family or friends.

Answer

THIS. IS. NOT. NORMAL.
I’m sorry, but you N-E-E-D to leave like yesterday. He says he can’t control his anger? Well, what if instead of the wall... it’s you or the baby. 
Plus, your baby should not grow up seeing this type of behavior. It will end up negatively effecting him.

He punches holes in the walls?

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