My husband and I have been married for

2 years, together for 9 and are expecting our first baby due in 3 months. We are financially stable with great jobs, own our own home, cars...etc. He has a very good work ethic and is a great husband. This is the only problem in our relationship.

Weed has recently become legal in my state. I am not a huge fan, I used to smoke in college but it gave me panic attacks. I am not against it either, to each their own...

My husband has decided he wanted to grow a couple of pot plants in the basement. In the beginning it was no big deal and I didn’t really think anything of it but it has become this huge operation with him. He remodeled an unused portion of the basement to make a “grow room” and it has completely taken over his life. He comes home from work and runs downstairs everyday to check on them. He is constantly getting packages in the mail for whatever he needs for his plants and he’s always on his phone googling stuff about weed. When he first started growing them (about a month ago) we went away for a weekend and we had to leave very early on our last day so he can race home to make sure his plants were okay.

A little backstory...prior to my husband and I dating, he had a drug problem so he got on methadone. He is STILL on methadone nearly a decade later and refuses to talk about quitting.

We recently went to sign up for life insurance. His mother passed away last year at 54yrs old from lung cancer so even though we are in our 30s, they required us to get a physical (me because I am pregnant.) My husband told them he does not smoke (he vapes all day) and of course they tested us for nicotine which he failed. We haven’t received news if will be able to get life insurance or not but I’m sure if we get accepted we will be paying a higher rate because of his vaping.

This is all really starting to effect me. I am focused on the future and this child we are about to bring into the world and I feel like he is taking steps backwards through the decisions he is making. I try to put it in the back of my mind and will be fine for a few days and everything will be great but then he’ll mention the plants or spend a lot of time in the basement and I lose it on him. I don’t know how to get over it. Every time I bring it up, he writes me off and tells me I am being ridiculous. Last night, I was in a rage about it and he said “if your so unhappy why don’t you just divorce me.” I’m not unhappy and I do not want a divorce, I just need to know how to get over this and if I’m being crazy. I’m super hormonal which doesn’t help the situation so I need to know if I’m seeing things clearly. Has anyone been through anything similar? Please be nice. Thanks if you are still reading.