Just need to vent

So back in February i was involved with this guy now we always used a condom but one day it broke now we didn’t know so we continue to have sex I was kinda upset but whatever I got over it after that we had unprotected sex and like four days later I didn’t feel right my vagina was hurting and I was in so much pain I was On my way! To school ( college) but I literally couldn’t walk so I was just sitting in a bathroom crying I made an emergency appointment that same day for my doctor and I got tested for an std I was so embarrassed and humiliated I got medicine that clear everything up now at the time I knew he gave me an std because the medicine work a week later test came back positive for herpes now once I found that out I was hurt and I was in school so that a dark cloud just covered me and I got so depressed so I called him and told him to come over we gotta talk now he came I told him and basically he was nonchalant like it didn’t bother him and I knew he gave it to me because I had just got checked for std’s and I was clean so everything in me was pissed and I was also hurt that I started crying and to my surprise he’s came close and just held me and I feel asleep in his arms and he held me for two days while I cried (tsk) now I was at a vulnerable place and even tho he was the blame for all of my pain I stayed like a dumby anyway I didn’t trust him after that and a month later my period was three weeks late. And I even found out about another girl so I stopped talking to him now my period was still late and I didn’t wanna talk to him so I went to his mom and she never responded to me so I gave up on it and I’ve been stupid after like having meaningless sex and I have used protection I would have our breaks like every month my life was going downhill fast so I decided to change it fast forward to now I’m not pregnant thank god I have my dream job I moved into a house I don’t have an out break in months and I was over everything but his mom finally responded to me asking if I was pregnant and that kind of sent me back on this depression state I fake smiles with Im around ppl but when I’m alone I fight back tears or I drink but at one point I forgot I even had herpes and recently I think about me not being here anymore

😒