Before I had my daughter via <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>, lots of medications and injections, and over 3 years of fertility treatments and recurrent miscarriages, I felt like I was stuck in TTC limbo. If I had known then that we would have our happy ending (a healthy pregnancy and baby), it would have made the whole processes much easier. But no one knows going into fertility treatments if they will work and end with a baby coming home from the hospital. That is one of the hardest parts of going through fertility treatments for many people.

When I came out of the infertility closest and started talking to people, it seemed that everyone knew someone who knew someone who knew someone that had been trying for years and as soon as they gave up it happened. I would always smile and nod and say “That's great!” while internally rolling my eyes and thinking “Well that is great for your neighbor's sister's best friend's dog walker, but I don't think it is going to happen that way for us.” Much more helpful were stories of people who went through tests, treatments and/or surgeries and got pregnant, or became parents by fostering or adopting. Especially if I was hearing it from the people who had experienced it themselves. They usually had a lot of insight to whole process.

Another type of story that I would hear were people who didn't get their happy ending, at least not with becoming parents. I actually found a lot of comfort from these stories. I could relate to and feel for them.  It was something that they were sad about but it wasn't all consuming the way it feels while you are trying to conceive, or going through fertility treatments. They still had fulfilling lives. I found out that my aunt and uncle had tried unsuccessfully for about 5 years. They travel a lot and did a lot of amazing renovations on their house. I met a woman who went back to school and is a successful lawyer. None of these things is the same as parenting or replace the experiences of parenting, but they are fulfilling in other ways. At that time in my life I was scared that life would always be treatments and two week waits. I found comfort knowing that one way or another it does get better. It is easy for me to say that it will all be okay whether or not you become parents because fertility treatments did work for me. But I can honestly say that hearing this when we were in the middle of treatments or recovering from a miscarriage it was very comforting for me to hear. It isn't happy ending because it isn't an ending, life goes on and it does get better.