My husband is making us go for therapy.

I've been In and out abusive relationships and I've been raped by people I thought I could trust.

So my past is reoccurring into my future.

I keep thinking he's like them, not that he'll rape me, but that he's the same controlling, cheating, stealing abuser as the rest and at any moment the sweetness will leave because it usually does.

I can't help it, I don't know how to be the person he wants me to be.

I've never been truly loved and I keep thinking that the love I'm receiving is fake.

I can't help it.

So he wants to have couples therapy to talk about it. It really sucks, yes he knows my past.

I don't think he understands this will probably never go away.

Some part of me is becoming the same person I am afraid of (The controlling part) and I don't know how to stop it.

I've tried therapy of my own, but I just don't know how to be normal because this is all I've ever known.

Helpful Comments are appreciated, I'm not looking to hear "why do you treat him like that he deserves better " I'm aware of what he deserves, but that's not what he wants.