This is more of a rant than a question

Kayleigh-Marie πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ β€’ 08/18πŸ‘ΌπŸ’™β€’09/19πŸ‘ΌπŸ’™ October 2020 πŸ€°πŸΌπŸ‘ΆπŸΌ

So I had a miscarriage back in August, I've been so fucking depressed since I just can't get motivated I can't get up and out there. My last period was like 8 days long really painful to the point I couldn't move out of bed for about 5 days my partner was amazing had an endless flow of hot water bottles comfort foods and love. This month I'm dreading my period but I'm 3 days late and I don't know if glow hasn't predicted my period properly because of the miscarriage as last time it was bang on the day I got my period was the day I was predicted to. So I don't know. I don't want to be pregnant again. Not yet. I'm still hurting and grieving and I'm just not in the right place for a baby I wasn't when I was pregnant before but I was also not grieving from a lost pregnancy. I feel pretty normal but I'm just praying this is a mistake hopefully I come on today or something. This is me just fucking not wanting this at all because my heart was so broken. I was so hurt. As much as I'd love my rainbow baby I just don't know if I can cope.

I don't have as much as a scan picture to remember my baby by and havung another won't take away that pain at all.