I honestly am gonna lose my crap one day very soon. I’m drained mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Nothing that use to excite me or interest me does, and I am so irritant to everyone and everything, and I get so fed up with small problems. I overthink when I am suppose to be sleeping , and then I don’t go to sleep until like 3am sometimes. And I get up early, and I don’t eat until like 4:00pm, I don’t even have coffee or water sometimes. I have no appetite sometimes, and I lack motivation. I’ve been telling myself I would be better in a few days but a few days turned into a few months, and I’m still so so drained. And I’ve become such a very sad, depressed, bitter individual. But I put these feelings on the back burner because I am quiet, and I’ve been recently very heart broken. I’ve given so much of my time, effort and love to this boy I had befriended and now he says he’s “too busy” to commit or put effort towards our friendship. And after numerous months of being 100% confused and disappointed in the cancelled plans, the deliberate avoidance, and one word conversations we’d have. I finally told him how I felt. And after being drained from numerous months of asking myself if he actually cared, I confronted him. And I haven’t heard from him since. And my heart feels like it’s shattering every single day. Things remind me of him. And what hurts the most is he said he’d never leave me and would always be there for me whenever I needed someone, but I needed someone for 2 months and he wouldn’t even reply to my messages. And if he did, it was one word answers. Not even giving a crap. And that’s what set me off. I gave and gave to this kid, and received nothing back. And that’s what happens to me all the time. Anyways that was a slight turn of events . Sorry for the rant.