I don’t know how to explain this.. But I feel like due to past relationships and being manipulated into situations, I have terrible anxiety and paranoia when I’m in intimate situations.

Last night my boyfriend and I were In a video call and I started to have heart palpitations because things were getting a bit saucy, and I felt like I completely ruined the mood because of it. Of course he was super patient and kept reminding me that it was okay. I calmed down and things were fine afterwards, but now that it’s the day after, I have this nasty little voice in my head saying that he’s just using me and it’s all just the same as the last times.

I honestly don’t know how to deal with this. Therapy isn’t an option right now and I have no idea how I can bring this up to him..