What’s wrong with me?

Maria • I just want happiness

All throughout my teenage years, I’ve been mostly alone. Except for me family of course. But I can’t seem to keep friends or even have a best friend. I don’t get invited out to places, I’m always the out cast. I just moved from my hometown to san luis obispo for school. Even here I can’t make friends. Am I just annoying? ☹️

I know there’s nothing wrong with being lonely. And most of the time I enjoy my alone time. I like going on hikes, doing my hw at coffee shops. I’m fine with being alone. But why is it so hard for me to include myself with a group of friends? It makes me sad seeing all of these people having fun, at bonfires, dancing, etc. and I’m just at home, wanting to do all of that but I have no friends. And I have put myself out there, I’ve joined clubs, I try meeting someone new every day.

I just want to have a girls night out, or a day to go hiking, or go run through a maze, or go to a party.... but with who? 😖

It’s so hard for me to fit in. I always get thoughts like I’m not pretty enough, or outgoing enough, or my butt’s not big enough, or I’m just not funny enough.

Is there something wrong with me😢