Will it ever happen?

I’ve been TTC for 17 months and the last 3-4 months I’ve felt incredibly low. I’m finding that the upset of a negative test each month is getting increasingly harder. I want a baby so so bad, I’m so ready and more then anything I want to give my husband a child, he’d be so amazing. Since TTC I’ve witnessed so many family and friends and people I know fall pregnant and it makes me upset that I feel such resentment when I should feel happy. I was told that my sister is expecting again and instead of feeling pure joy, I felt like I could burst into tears. It’s so hard watching something you dream for happen to others and I always have the horrible doubt in my mind where I think what if it will never happen?

I’m starting to feel extremely low in myself so I feel I need to step away and try to focus on myself more, focus on getting back to a happy place and then in time I’m hoping that it will happen for us. I never expected this to be so hard x