i haven’t been keeping up w what’s going on in cc besides reading bits & pieces.

but last night in the chit chat column i talked about how sad i was. i how i wanted to die and how i hated myself. i added that i was 2 months pp so idk if that was what was taking a toll on me.

i still for horrible and i still have these feelings of wanting to die. BUT there were so many of you guys that were kind enough to offer support and advice and wish me well. SO THANK YOU! thank you so much for being so kind instead of judgmental. this post will be deleted and thatsfine, i just hope the few who helped me will be able to see it in time. you guys made me feel safe and like i wasn’t crazy.

i talked to my mom about seeing a doctor about all these feelings, as many of u suggested, but instead i was told i was being dramatic, needed to put my big girl panties on, and that seeking help was pointless. i’m not sure about seeking help after she said those things, i don’t know why

but anyways, thank you. as i said this will probably be deleted i just hope those who took the time to help see it first

*edit*

you all are so kind and i thank you for making me feel better and worthy of being here. i’m just scared that if i talk to a professional that

1) they’ll think i’m incapable of taking care of my son. &

2) that if they decide to put me on medication it’ll interfere w me breastfeeding.