In March of this year I was given the most amazing news ever. That I was finally becoming a mom for the first time. At my second ultra sound I was scared within to go because I’m 37 and I’m an at risk pregnancy because of age. However I tried not to think negative but was looking forward to hearing my babies heartbeat. This same day I was told by the ultrasound woman ‘you need to figure out what you’re going to do’ I was confused by what she meant by that yet my heart sank. I was fighting tears. I got up, got dressed and left to dr. Office and headed to another Dr. that day turned into a nightmare I ended up at the hospital till nearly 1 AM my emotions were scattered, I was a complete mess. My heart was crushed and broken in the end I was told I’m having a miscarriage.

I ended up calling my job and telling them I’ll be taking off a couple weeks because I’m an emotional mess being I’m having a miscarriage. Well a week and a half later almost at the end of the 2nd week I lost my miscarriage at home. This hit harder, all in all I took off 3 weeks. Although I wasn’t fully emotionally healed I returned to work. (Those who have lost know we never fully recover we just learn to heal on our own. Yet we have good days and bad days for the rest of our lives. )

I’m hurt and disgusted that my manager told another manager that she thinks I took advantage of my miscarriage by taking off 3 weeks. I’m sorry but am I supposed to be unemotional and continue my life like nothing is happening to me? I went from expecting my first pregnancy to thinking I’m gonna hear my baby’s heartbeat to go figure it out to I’m losing my baby to non-stop crying and heartache and I’m wrong for taking time off to not go crazy??? And to not have my miscarriage while I’m at work???? I think it’s disgusting that there are people who think that way about something they never experienced before. Does my baby or loss not count? This just makes me so mad and sad when I heard what she said I cried. I’m not a cryer but you are talking about my loss and that just hurt.

Has anyone ever had an experience like this? Am I wrong for taking time for myself and my own peace of mind? I think not. 😢