What goes getting engaged mean to you?
I got engaged earlier this month. My fiance and I have started dating 2 and half years ago. Yesterday, I brought up wedding planning and he was quick to shut down the conversation saying "We JUST got engaged" "Its too soon to talk about a weeding" " We can start talking next year sometime".
I thought be engaged means you are ready to get the ball rolling and move towards getting married. Later that night I tried to talk with him about this. He said he proposed as his way of showing his commitment to me. I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like what a guy says when he presents his girlfriend with a promise ring.
The day after he proposed we decided we were ready to share the news. I called my parents first. Next, it was his turn to ca his parents. He didn't want to. He was nervous they would over react and he tried to suggest I don't we don't wear the ring outside the house so word doesn't get out and his parents don't hear through a vine. I was quick to say "Hell no! Absolutely not! You will not ask me to marry you then ask me to pretend that never happened. Either we are engaged or we are not". I walked out of the house then (I had been planning on going grocery shopping so it's not like I just stormed out), came back 30 minutes later. He was had bucked up and called his parents while I was gone.
Now I am frustrated with him because he is once again being a chicken (for lack of better word). He is exhibiting the same behavior. I don't know what to do. I know money isn't a issue as we would not have a crazy wedding. I don't know how to explain to him in a way that he will understand. I think being engaged (and announcing it to family and friends) means we are moving towards getting married and planning a wedding. He is a person that takes things so literally that if you use a word slightly differently than its intended meaning he wi get confused and not get the message.
I just want to know what so YOU think it means to be engaged?
UPDATE: I texted him this morning while we were both at work(texted because I wanted his response in writing so he couldn't cliam he never said something), I told him what I thought being engaged means and either it means we are moving towards getting married or you just bought me a ring to shut me up. Although I do think that was part of the reason, he has very little relationship experience before me. Almost none actually. He won't move on without pushing and reassurance. I think this is just the price pay being his first. He's not a douche but more of a whimp/chicken. I do try to be patient but I am not and will not do that for long.
He's also worried about how his family will behave during a wedding because they are bored miserable people that like the judge and compare because they have nothing better to do, this is also why he didn't want to tell them we were engaged. Their reaction ended up not being much better than he expected.
When I texted him he seamed to be more on the same page as me. But I don't know if he will go 'chicken' again. If he continues this behavior I am prepared to give him an ultimatum even though it's not always the best route to take. I'm just not putting my and our life on hold because of this behavior.