So tonight my husband and I went out for a dinner and a movie for our first wedding anniversary. We were walking home and we decided to stop at one of those corner store that are open 24 hours to buy some candies and an ice tea.

My husband stayed outside smoking a cigarette and I went in. I approached the fridge aisle to get my tea and behind me breathing on my neck there was an African American homeless man. He was smelling my hair and I noticed right away he was drunk. At the same time my husband saw him from outside and came in just to check on me. The manager of the store started to yell at him that he needed to leave immediately! In the mean time I got my ice tea and I approached the register.

The homeless man wasn’t leaving and he was trying to get a beer out of the refrigerator. At this point the manager who was at the register walked toward the man very mad and in an aggressive way dragged him out. He came back in and apologized to us for the wait saying while covering his nose with his arm: “I’m sorry guys this stinky ass nigga didn’t want to leave” at that point behind me there were to teenage African Americans who looked at each other. At that point I said to the manager that the racist comment was unnecessary and he could have expressed himself in another way. The manager said “whatever”, we paid and left. On the walk back home I said to my husband that I was really upset about the racist comment and it really bothered me. My husband said he knows the manager and he is not racist he just used the jargon that everybody use in the neighborhood. (We live close to New York City in the suburbs).

I grew up in Italy and he says I don’t understand the jargon of New York and that he wasn’t racist. Everybody says it. Then I got mad at my husband. It’s not okay just because everybody says it. It still a racist comment to me.

Now the manager is not African American so to me his use of the N word was in fact racist. We had a discussion where he is saying I don’t understand New York jargon.

I don’t understand how a comment so racist becomes the norm. IT’S NOT OKAY.

Am I wrong? Was the manager making a racist comment or not?