I have a 6 month old little girl who I love very much. I have been struggling since she was born to be happy. I was so stressed and anxious when she was born about breastfeeding I forgot to enjoy her. I stopped trying to breastfeed and the guilt was awful eventually it got better. Then I went back on birth control and the paranoia and anxiety came back about her being in child care. Finally she is at home with us full time. But now I just find myself today depressed. I feel like an awful mom, I dont feel like playing with her, I dont even know if I smiled at her today. My husband suggested i go and take her somewhere. I was supposed to go to bible study today but I didnt feel like it. Finally around 4:30 I decided I would get up put my make up on and take her to target. Well I just realized that we forgot to reinstall the carseat in my car and she is being difficult so I gave up. So here I am just letting her play, trying not to cry till it's time for bed and I can just go back to sleep. Not every day is bad for me. I have never had a diagnosis. I love her more than anything and even though I'm not feeling like myself today I am caring for her so I'm not neglectful. She is the happiest baby and she isn't too difficult and most days all I have are praises but today I just dont feel like being strong, smiling and positive.