It has come to my attention that you are upset with me. While I do not know exactly what I did to make you feel the way you do, I would like to ask why you have deemed it appropriate to try to ruin MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE!

WHY must you enter my world during ovulation with a singular vaginal itch that will ignite the car bomb that is the yeast infection?

Why do you feel as though it is pleasurable for me to stick all types of gels and messy ass creams in you for the next 3 damn days (as if I do not have anything better to do)?!? Why vagina? Just fucking WHY?

I thought we were a fucking team! You and I against the world

(except for those days of bleeding BUT GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK that’s like 16 days from now!) I mean cmon girl! I was gonna get us some peen I just didn’t have the time because of life you know how it is!

Why you wanna do a playa like that huh? While I don’t understand your anger, I do feel it ... intensely!

BUT, I’m gonna need for you to shape the fuck up sis, because this right here... IS UNACCEPTABLE! I can’t even sit down without wanting to scratch you into an oblivion. Calm the fuck down.

Sincerely,

Management