I know it’s long but please i just really need someone with same experience to talk to..

So I’m with my man for 3 years now, we live together, and a lot has happened. At this point I don’t even care about the way he talks to me or treats me anymore.

First, as some facts.. we don’t have fb, insta, snap.. nothing. Because he wanted so. We have an agreement that we don’t drink, do drugs, etc.. for our’s sake.

So like two years ago, he went out, got batshit drunk, disconnected his phone and basically disappeared for couple days. We came over that.

A year ago, he tried to make out with my best friend, and a week ago he slapped another’s ass. Okay, i kinda let it slip again. Because ever time i tried to confront him, he turned it around that i made him like this, and that i I don’t like it i should pack my shit and go.

Yesterday we had a great day. He was nicer that ever in the 3 years. I wanted to check the time on his phone and i saw messenger open, and i asked about it. He said that he accidentally opened it as an Ad. I knew it wasn’t true so i opened it, and he texted my ex roommate from high school that he wants to fuck her and when can she come over. I cried, i asked why, and he said that HE didn’t do it. He also texted his ex that he wants to pick her up and take her out of the country and shit like that.

He is still telling me that he is honest and loyal and would never cheat, but I’ve swallowed so much shit , i don’t know how much longer i can take it.

Every single day i worry if he’s even gonna come home, or he’s out with another one again.

I just can’t accept the fact that I’m not the one he wants for good. I did everything for him, i let him change who i was, i tried, i supported him in everything, i just don’t know where the fuck i went wrong?? He doesn’t want to talk, i tries a billion times and at this point I don’t have a clue what to do anymore . I know I can’t force him to love me, but I can’t accept the fact that he wasn’t who I thought he was. . I just really wanted everything with this man. I’m so broken.