So my boyfriend and I moved in together almost a year ago now and have a baby due in December. I have a great relationship with his father and his girlfriend and his older sisters. The only one who seems to keep taunting me is his mother. A few months ago my boyfriends mother and I got into a heated argument because she was speaking very nasty about my family and the way I grew up ( someone in my family apparently dated my boyfriends father years ago and she still feels some type of way about it) Anyways his mother and I haven’t spoken since that altercation. My baby shower is next week and she isn’t invited because I don’t feel comfortable having her negative energy and disrespect around my family or around me. Period. I was going to change my mind and be the bigger person and invite her but we ran into her last week for my boyfriends little brothers football game and she asked him to carry her chair for her ( as he was carrying mine and his ) and he said no (they aren’t on good terms either bc of things she’s said to him about me) so she had the audacity to say “ Her fat ass can carry it herself. Being pregnant doesn’t make her handicap. Besides she’s not your wife I’m your mother.”

Lord my feelings were so hurt. At the same time she’s said worse to me and about me so I just shrugged it off but my boyfriend was heated !!! He even said to her “ You’re not my mother. My mother wouldn’t have said something like that.” And she just laughed and was like “ I’ll always be your mother regardless if you like it or not.” My hearts hurting because my boyfriend used to be such a mothers boy before his parents divorced but since that his mother has just been so ... nasty towards him because he’s closer to his father now.

Anyway, after that little outburst we went home and I started bawling because I myself don’t have a lot of family in my life right now. I’m trying so hard to be cordial and to shrug it off. Not because my boyfriends telling me to or anything but it’s just how I am.

At this point not only do I not want her at my baby shower but I don’t even want her around my baby girl If she can’t even be respectful to me as a mother. Is that being selfish? Since it’s her first grand child ? My boyfriend doesn’t want her around the baby at all but I don’t know what to do. Opinions ?