My due date is coming up next week and everything is starting to hit me a lot harder now; it was bad when everything first went down, but it’s getting worse seeing everyone who found out they were pregnant at the same time as me, having their babies this month, and I have nothing.

And then I was working today with a co worker, who is maybe 5 years older than me, and I’ve talked to her before about kids and babies, but she, nor most people I work with know that I had a mc; and before I had a mc she used to joke with me about how easy it is to get pregnant etc etc; I never thought anything of it, because I thought the second I was off bc, I would be pregnant.

She told me today that she’s pregnant, (“but I’m only like, 5 seconds pregnant) which hurts to begin with (I’m trying to get better and stop being so bitter) but I’ve just been playing it off like I was never pregnant, and I’m just like “oh yay”; but then she says how easy it was for her to get pregnant: all they had to do was “look at each other” and “make sure that you’re careful, because this can happen to you”, I’m just over here like “please let it happen to me”.

It’s such a small bother, but it hurts. Because I’m glad she can get pregnant so fast. That is great. But it is not easy for some of us. I know she didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but I just never thought something would affect me like this so bad and for so long.

2018 just has not been my year 💔

Also I don’t want anyone to be sorry, I’m just venting.