Divorce , no judging please just looking for Similar stories

Not baby related but wasn’t sure where else I could turn Bc other mom groups wouldn’t understand, my husband and I have been married about 3 years got married young it’s been a rough 3 years , then last year our son born at 26 weeks and the both of us almost dying was a lot to take in . Our marriage has fallen apart my husband wasn’t there for me during our Nicu journey didn’t even take care of the house . I’ve been going to therapy for a year now just working on myself finding myself again , our son is healthy and finally financially for once were doing amazing . We have talked about divorce a lot the past year . Once it was him who wanted to and then now me . I really believe in my soul he’s not the one for me I have and know I’ve fallen out of love with him. He’s doing good as a dad now but could be better . He’s trying to fix us but it’s all forced and fake asf to me . He feels because we have money now that our life is just gonna be perfect and that if I left him I’d be nothing and be one of those welfare moms . I don’t love this man I feel terrible . I’m meeting with a lawyer next month and getting my ducks in a row . I already found a place to live . I’ve gotten so used to doing everything myself I think I realized I didn’t need him . I obviously will let him see his child’ I’m not one of those crazy baby mamas I’m a mother . He knows of my feelings but not that I actually have plans. I have some things to deal with financially before I leave . I hate saying this but this is one of the worst things I’ve ever dealt with. Today I couldn’t stop crying Bc he bought me flowers and I so bad wanted to have the same feelings it’s just too late . And no therapy didn’t work for us . I was so stressed today I was throwing up and I haven’t been eating and I know my poor baby feels what I feel I feel like the worst mom some days . But I know this is what’s best for me . It’s been a long time coming . I just feel terrible . I feel he would be happier with out me also .