I know I shouldn't be upset, i should be happy either way, but i cant help the way i feel. My heart was set on having a little girl. I was so sure it was a girl. I had a girls name picked out, even bought some cute baby girl outfits. I had my gender reveal today, and the confetti turned out to be blue.

I was shattered. I had to put on a brave face. After everyone left i balled my eyes out. Why do i feel like this!? I feel so guilty because i know there are people out there that cant have children. And i should be happy to have a healthy baby no matter the gender.

This is my first child ans I am a lesbian. I decided to do this on my own, with the help of a sperm donor. My emotions are all over the place.